The captivating smile

I got an e-mail from a match.com guy this week. And girlfriends, that is big news. Guys on match don’t initiate anything. They don’t wink, they don’t e-mail…they just wait for the women to make all the first moves. I’ve had maybe four initial e-mails from match.com guys all year long.

Excuse me, what’s that? You and all your friends get e-mails from match.com guys all the time? Your Aunt Mavis in the nursing home can’t keep up with responding to all the winks she gets?

Oh.

This is how it works. You scroll through all the profiles and someone catches your eye. You have the option of e-mailing that person or sending them a wink. When you choose the wink, they get an e-mail from match.com that says, “ScrumptiousKitty just winked at you!” Then they have the option of winking back, responding with an e-mail or, the most popular option of all, Delete and Forget.

So, I got this e-mail from montanateddybear:
I’m on my way out the door to take the kids to the movie, but I just wanted to tell you that you have the most captivating smile. I imagine you get a lot of attention with that wonderful smile.

Naturally I had to recheck my profile photo to see what was so captivating. I also ran to the bathroom mirror and checked my grin under the lights. Captivating? Hmmm. That might be a stretch.

I pulled up the guy’s photo. The best mullet you can manage with bald. And long hair. And an earring. And he’s from Montana. Bet he wears Birkenstocks with socks and has Save the Wolves stickers all over his Subaru Outback. But he had very nice eyes and a sweet smile and I liked that he had a master’s degree in education. His profile was well-written and he sounded like someone I might like. I was already planning to bring my barber kit to our first coffee date.

So I e-mailed back:
Thank you for the very generous compliment! It made my day. What movie did you see?
Tone meant to be friendly and encouraging, but not desperate, possibly sounding like I still have oodles of complimentary e-mails to get through before my date tonight.

His response the next morning:
We saw Hotel for Dogs. It was OK. Pretty good for kids, though. Good luck finding someone to share that wonderful smile of yours.

Well, then.

I guess I can put my barber kit away.