Don't admit to affinity for NASCAR

Here’s a shout-out to all the men on match.com:

Do Not… I repeat, Do Not include “watching NASCAR” in your list of hobbies.

Honestly, fellas, that’s like bragging about picking your nose at stoplights or letting your niece braid the hair in your ears. Do you have a toenail clippings collection? Do you spit tobacco into empty beer cans and leave them sitting around?

The image of you zoned out in front of the telly for hours watching cars make left turns….NO. Total deal breaker. Trust me.

And, that said, don't wear your favorite NASCAR pit jacket on your first date. There are women who enjoy NASCAR, I hear (but don't believe), but by and large, women see NASCAR as something to be overlooked in a man, like involuntary farting while asleep or ignorantly eating mounds of garlic and onions on a date, thereby curbing any desire I might have had for a kiss or three.

Of course, wearing the NASCAR jacket is like a full disclosure thing. If I'm meeting you at a restaurant and spy the jacket, I could turn on my heels and scoot right back to my car before we say hello. That would thereby avoid all sorts of heated discussions about toilet seats and underwear on the floor in the future.