DANGER: Instantly Slims You

My new Lee Riders jeans practically jumped into my cart on their own. In fact, they met me at the door of Wal-mart. How could I resist that label?

If I was shopping for a new lawn sprinkler, I’d definitely buy the one sporting the “Instantly Slims You” tag. Who wouldn’t?

What about an Instantly Slims You fishing pole? Instantly Slims You tube socks? Heck, I’d buy a pencil that promised to instantly slim me.

Is this genius marketing, or a potentially dangerous weapon of mass destruction?

Think of the ramifications, ladies. We could be led to very destructive behavior with those three little words.

* A one-night stand instantly slims you.
* Maxing out your credit cards instantly slims you.
* Methamphetamine use instantly slims you.
* Voting Democrat instantly slims you. (sorry, donkey friends!)
* Insurance fraud instantly slims you.

The future of our country could depend on the safe use of those three magic words.

Take care, America.