The roller-coaster world of match.com or Why you should hang onto your husband

I’ve been a starry-eyed devotee of http://www.match.com/ for an entire year. That should tell you a lot about me and my stubborn insistence on the happily-ever-after scenario right there An entire year of repeatedly checking to see who’s looking at my profile, who’s new, who’s winking at me, and so on. I study men’s profiles seriously, looking for the ones who seem normal and who seem to be looking for someone normal, as well. I read with an open mind, usually having to dip generously from the Benefit of the Doubt jar, which is my specialty.

Sometimes, however, a profile jumps out at me and restores my faith and interest in men. Justagoodguy is attractive, seems bright, has a job, plays the piano and is a voracious reader. He’s looking for a stable life partner who is willing to connect on a deep emotional level. He loves dogs and children and the simple things in life like sitting on his deck with a cup of coffee and watching the sun come up. He’s not into the bar scene and prefers quiet evenings at home with his lady. If he includes “full-figured” or “a few extra pounds” in the list of qualities he likes in a woman, I’m picking out my trousseau.

Those moments of bliss are usually short-lived, however.

I bravely send Justagoodguy a short friendly e-mail, expecting it to be received with equal feelings of “Ah ha! Finally!”

And then I wait. Finally I shut the computer down and go to bed. Nothing from Justagoodguy in my Inbox the next day. Or the next. A week goes by. Maybe he’s on vacation. Two weeks pass without acknowledgement of my symbolic extended hand.

By then my disappointment has turned to anger. If he isn’t interested, why not respond with a simple, “No thanks.” Or, do like I do when I get a wink or an e-mail from someone I’m not interested in: Lie. I say, “You seem like someone I’d like to know, but I’m pursuing another relationship right now. Thank you for your interest in me. Good luck in your search.” A polite and inoffensive acknowledgement of their expression of interest in me. It’s just common courtesy. Maybe the guy gets so many winks that he doesn’t have time to acknowledge all of them. Or maybe he just doesn’t have any manners.

I delete Justagoodguy from my “Favorites” list with a loud Click and push the Search button to look for other possible matches within a 100-mile radius of my home.

Oh! Here’s one! LMG1955 is a professor at a local university. He’s 6’3”, has been divorced for seven years and is tired of living alone and craves the sweet companionship only a woman can provide. He has a lot to offer the right woman. Loves cuddling on the couch in front of a roaring fire on a crisp fall evening…