We're not meant to date after 40

I don’t think we’re meant to date after 40.

I think it might be like having children after 40. Sure, you’re smarter than you were when you were 20, but you’re also less patient, have less energy and are less tolerant. And your body is wearing out.

When I was 20, getting home before midnight meant that the date was a flop. Now, getting home at a decent hour means I may have found my soul mate. If my date yawns during dinner, I’m seeing matching rocking chairs in my favorite color.

And my tolerance levels are way down. If I guy suggests that we go Dutch, he’s out. If he never attempts to open a door for me, he’s out. If he won’t ever admit he’s wrong, he’s out. If he’s too passionate about politics, he’s out. If he tells the same story twice in one evening…well, he’s not out, but he’s on probation. I’m at the point when I don’t want to put up with anything. Don’t even think about setting me up with someone who smokes or is a know-it-all or a name-dropper or a tightwad. Is there anyone left?

One of the biggest turnoffs for me is a 50-ish man who is trying to hold back the clock. Ugh. They spend time sweating in the gym, flexing in front of the mirror and getting hair transplants. They are completely self-absorbed. They wear clothes from hip sports shops and take up mountain biking.

That brings up the apple analogy that I’ll share another day.

I feel comfortable being 48. I have had a great life and treasure my experiences. I am 50 pounds overweight, but still clean up pretty good. I’m fun and funny. I have good friends and a wonderful family. I have talents and dreams. I’d love to share my life with someone again, but maybe I’m past it.

Maybe I don’t have the energy or patience for it, anymore. I’m tired of telling my story and getting excited over first dates. I’m also tired of the roller coaster feeling of really liking someone and then having them decide they don’t want to date you anymore. Or, having to tell someone that things just aren’t working out. So much emotion and drama. Makes me tired to talk about it.
So I’m on dating hiatus. I’ve given it up for one month. After one month I may go for two. It isn’t as if men are lining up on the lawn, but I’m not actively looking. I’m not winking at or e-mailing anyone on match.com. I’m not encouraging anyone. I’m trying to not even think about it. (Hence this blog post! Ha! Not working, Krista!)

And when I get back to the dating scene, I hope I’ll be more patient. I hope I’ll give the dull, smoking name-droppers a chance. I’m not budging on the early evening issue, however!