I have entered the world of self-tanning. I love to sit in the sun and I love having a tan to even out the varicose veins and camouflage the cellulite. However, I’ve been watching a little strange spot on my face for a couple of years and it has me freaked out about skin cancer.
When I saw a gushing presentation on the miracles of Faux Tan on QVC, I picked up the phone to order it.
At first I was afraid to try it. The bottle sat on my kitchen counter for a day or two. Finally I remembered the sad truth that no one sees my bare legs these days, and we are a ways away from shorts and Capri weather, so I went for it.
This stuff isn’t like the old-fashioned self-tanner we used in high school that smelled like dirty socks and you didn’t see the results of your handiwork until the next day. Oh no, this stuff smells like dirty socks and you can see results right away.
I woke up in the next morning after nightmares about suffocating at the bottom of a teenaged boy’s gym locker, threw back the sheets to get a look at my lusciously tanned legs… and behold, giraffe legs. The healthy-looking brown, so meticulously applied, had morphed into large, orange-brown blotches.
My feet were a mess. They aren’t my best feature, anyway, but the orange “tan” highlighted my calluses and toe deformities. I immediately thought of a little Aborigine woman filthy dirty from a 6-month walkabout in the Australian outback.
I have 30 days to use Faux Tan before returning it to QVC for a full refund. Do I keep trying it, believing that I’m smart enough to figure this out, or do I return it and admit defeat, sparing myself the possible embarrassment of going to work smelling like sweaty Nikes?
2 comments:
What is the verdict? Are you getting the hang of it or returning the product? Do tell!
Really tho'- what is with the smell? Some of them fool you with an initial pleasant aroma, and sure enough, as soon as you go somewhere, that stink comes on....
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